Speak

Speak to me O' Lord, i wait for your voice. I wait to hear your song, ro tell me that im wrong. Love me o God, love me enough to speak, speak the language that i will hear, speak to me so i can sleep. Sleep in your peace and dream of your grace. MY heart is open im waiting and listening. Im out of words... you know my heart is open

the voice...

This voice like a storm, this devastaion mounting. This trench ever widening. This love more inspiring. No time to waste, your love i can taste. I'm hanging on your every word, but to him your voice goes unheard. Please yell, please light the path, show the way. Let us bow at this alter to you, let your fire burn away our sin.

Singing to you...

I dont know who i am. I dont know what to say... or what to pray. My head in my hands im ashamed. Double-minded, not seperated. One person now, another tomorrow. What can i do, who should i be? What did you create me to see? These things i long for, these things i beg for are they not your will? Will they only bring me pain? Do they only bring you pain? I want to speak to you i want to hear your voice. Blind i need your leading, def i need your voice. Your cross in my eyes, your inspiration endless. The arms of heaven widen, your path of righteousness blessed. Beaten, tried, my willing savior. Annointing... flowing, praises... singing, beauty... showing. United we sing as one, divided we fall unknown. Why do you choose me, how can i still sing? My heart for you, your heart for us. "Rid me of myself, rid me of myself, rid me of myself, lead me to the cross".

i dont know...

i dont know what to say... i dont know who i am. What i am, or who you are. I ask God to change me to meet me. I am swept away by His grace, im drowning in His mercy. Why does He forgive me? Why does He still love me? Why dont you even see me? To Him i am somthing, to Him i am His princess, to you i am nothing, to you i dont exsist. Can you not see my love, my passion for this life, for this world... for your world... for your life? Why cant i be loved, why cant i be yearned for, desired, burned for? They can always walk away, they always want me to change. I work so hard, i need His hand. I am breathless, empty, exhausted, stolen away.

Im seeing red

I see red, i see green - my love feels completely unknown. Im pissed. I cant speak, i cant even reach this feels so pointless. It takes my God to calm me down, it take all of me to not walk away. For something so unimportant, for something so minor - im so broken, im so tired, im so emotionally overdrawn! God cant this be easy, cant this be just a walk? Why alone, why so long? Cant this be rushed? Cant this be pushed? Undesired, uninvolved, unlovable, unlived. Unlively, help me Lord to move on... if moving on is what you require. The answers spinning, the feeling of newness but nothing is beginning. Im hurt.

Praise you...

The sound, the sound, the sound of your echoing grace. Your voice of love, your heart of joy. Oh how i need you, oh how i long to please you. Standing at your feet... my hands raise. Kneeling on the floor... the tears flow. My hearts desire, my hopes, my dreams, the lover of my soul. The name of all names, the son of all sons. The ruler of the Earth, the Savior of the depths. You reach in, you reach in, you reach in. Hold us, mold us, take us, show us, inspire us, burden us, everlasting.

Why you? Would I?

Why your sweet face, why your sweet name? Why your suffering, why didnt you call out? My sin breaks your heart, but your heart breaks my sin. My father, my lover, my brother, my God. I worship you, i worship you, i worship you. What can i give you, what do i owe you? How can i move into you, how can i be with you? The fire within me, the light of you word. The yearning, the burning, free me, free me, please just see me. While i reach... just touch, while i cry... just comfort, while i fear... just calm. Would i have begged them, would i have stood by your side? Or would i betray, would i run away, would i? Your tearing me, my spirit pulling, lifting, returning to you. I worship you.

Worshipping to Hillsong United...

It repeats, it repeats, it repeats in my head. All i need is you Lord, is you Lord, all i need is you. It comes from you, i draw from you. My inspiration. Thats it, all i need is you. Why is this so hard for me, yet so easy for you? Why cant i see you, why cant i be like you? You are so patient, you are so kind. You see me, you lead me, you stand behind me, you gaze upon me, above, beneathe, all around. Your love consumes, my mind transforms. Your ways peirce my heart, my sprirt yeilds.

Ahhhh....

Im so bored! Can i escape, will i ever just cope? This picture of travel, this picture of family. This dream of love, this hope of joy. The burning desire for more, for freedom, to break out, to be loosed upon this earth. To be who i was born to be.

To be with you where you are...

This song, this song you sing, it lingers in my heart, the long lasting image in my mind, the key to my soul. Do you even know your worth, can you even see this certainty? My eyes close, my mind opens, my heart shudders. Searching, aching to describe you. To know you, to touch you, to have you, to paint you. Unexplainable. Inexpressable. Will you let me come into you? Will you come into me? Where are the words to speak, the words to write? Who can know this heart of yours, distant yet welcoming, scared yet willing, wild yet yeilding. Will you share with me this secret? His taste, his face, his voice. I cannot deny this, i cannot run from this... this surrounding wind, this taming calm, this enchanting flame. Who are you to change me? Who are you to ispire me? Who are you to take me? Who are you to leave me? Who are you?? I beg you to know me, know my heart for you.

So true!

The best use of life is to spend it on something that outlasts it!

My first one...

My heart for you is broken, my words to you are empty. But still my thoughts are on you. You consume me with love, you consume me with your fire. Your Grace has saved me from the mire, my soul longs for your loving embrace. God I humble myself to seek your holy face. Your passion ignites my soul… yet I desire so much more. To see you work, to hear you speak. My only hope to live, my only way to breathe. Your love is like no other, burning, you hold me to your chest. You’ve taken me as your own. My flesh is slain, my spirit is victorious. You have won the battle over all I have to worry, over all my single cares. You’ve ransomed your life for my peace, you bled for my hopes… you are my Jesus.

Passion flower tea...

The purple flowers remind me of how you clothe me. The sweet smell of your fragrance, your passion swirls around me; steaming too hot to touch but beauty to the senses. Utter worship, you consume me, You fill me. I long for the day when I can capture you into all of my senses, into my sight. You are my graceful lover; embracing yet burning you accept me. You are all I need, intoxicating, invigorating, soothing, and sensuous. I cannot lose your love, wrapped in the garments of your creation, blooming, surrounding, swirling draped in praise you’re lifted up. Glistening, all that is perfection. My desire is towards you, the eyes of my soul see only you, searching only for you.

The mirror...

As I set out to seek your face all I find is the reflection of my own. Covered with imperfections that mirror the condition of my soul. High and low I have tried to reach you, while all the while my arms have not left my side. While my mind wanders every corner and searches without ceasing. I have confined you to a dream and lost the meaning of life. I have kept you crucified. Let me awake from this nightmare of things to come and finally walk again… and forever.

The good quote...

Why do you not come to me? I long for more, I long for all. I wonder what I have done to turn your face from me. Please look at me Father, please turn your favor my way. The prayer and supplication cannot even be heard for my heart is silent; waiting for your healing hand and healing blood to make it beat again. Passion, oh my Lord, mend me, move me, carry me. Only death lies between us, yet life is your promise, and life is what I long for.

Wrong again...

Oh to be deceived would crush my heart. Tearing my hopes in half, the crutch of my Lord swept away; leaving me back on my face. Can my sorrow even compare to death on a cross? Is my pain even worth comforting? My own selfish misery, wallowing, waiting… for a savior who already came and relived this pain at his birth. Smoothly love comes in and relieves.

Sitting in the park during a storm...

The sound of a thousand trees blowing in the wind. They sing of your glory, swaying desperately to please you. Staying planted in your firm ground. To think this symphony plays to your tribute to your amazing power, yet you still delight in our praise. This beauty is more than I could ever give or even begin to fathom. The richness of your goodness shines above like a blanket. The smallness of my presence is humbling and I am afraid. But your love I here and graciously surrounds me. How could ever give you anything that compares to this… this is my worship.

I am unclean...

I think of your goodness and I compare it to mine. Will you understand my uncleanness or will you condemn? Can I live knowing my failures – are you so different? Have you made the same mistakes? I have abandoned His ways, but only for a moment. Please say you will still love me knowing all my flaws… please say you won’t run. I have turned away, but my life has been changed, without this mistake I never would have met you.

Me...

A mom, a girlfriend, a daughter, a sister, a Christian. So vague, so true, will you love me, do I love you? Will you have me, do I have you? Nothing comes, but everything goes. No truth will be, and no one seems to know. My life is a shame, and my heart it seems cannot be tamed.

Taking you for granted...

Passion I long to drink, mold my lips to fit your cup. Time with you unspent, lacking… your love from me unmet. I forget you, I lose you, ignore you and use you. Still you show me your beauty, still you always shine. Your glory is around me, yet at will I manage to fall. My desires are twisted, my life has spun around. Your love makes me straight, your grace in me abounds. I love to know you, I give to show you, I strive to grow in you. All is unworthy, all is not enough, and still you choose to love me… you chose me!

Am i good enough?

Is it my loss of innocence that keeps you from me? Do I so deserve loneliness? Must I obtain perfection to see your face? Is that why I sit longing, a hope never met, a lesson never learned? Why must I wait, desiring only change to bring about your decision. A life of keeping myself company. Heartfelt tears and prayers are not enough. Beauty holding me back. Love never tasted, love never touched, love always longing but still never caught. I sit on display but am still never pleasing. My yearnings, my desires continue to be teasing.